Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Lord of the Rings

This post chronicles our adventures in southern Patagonia.  We spent a couple weeks traveling around Calafate and El Chalten.  After spending numerous days hiking many kilometers across the remote expanse of mountains and glaciers, we felt like we were in the Lord of the Rings, which was the inspiration for this post.

Disclaimer - If you hate Lord of the Rings skip this post.  If you are unfamiliar with Lord of the Rings, skip this post.

The sun had risen in a land far, far away.  Two weary travelers awoke.  "How long until we reach the glacier?" asked the smoking hot hobbit (Pauline).  She was a sight to see, the illegitimate love child of Frodo Baggins and Megan Fox, and a hot Spanish chick.

"Less than a fortnight," replied the half human half elf (Mike) who was stunningly handsome, more handsome even than Brad Pitt now, but not as handsome as Brad Pitt from Legends of the Fall.
It was less than a fortnight's travel, actually 14 km according to the map they acquired from the visitor's center.

"I'm cold", complained Pauline.  "The wind chills my hobbit bones."
"That isn't the wind, it is the breath of the ice giant, Perito Moreno,"  said Mike.

Onward they traveled.  

Stopping only to fill up their bottles with the fresh water flowing from the mountains.

"Look!!," exclaimed Pauline.  "Look Mike, are those the giant Magellanic woodpeckers of Southern Patagonia??"

"Yes they are...Good eye Hobbit!", exclaimed Mike.  "LOOK!!!  I see the glacier."


Our two intrepid travelers brave chilling wind, unstable ice, and woodpeckers.  Finally, they mount the glacier.

The holy grail they were searching for was hidden within the ice of this mammoth glacier, the third biggest in the world behind the ice masses of Antarctica and Greenland.

Legend had it, that a magical potion was buried deep within the glacier.  This elusive potion would make you feel happy, invincible, interesting, and most importantly, give you the amazing ability of never being wrong or losing an argument, basically transforming you into a master debater.

"Doth thine eyes deceive me," said Mike rather poetically.

"It's whiskey!!!!!"